Project Red Pin.

Earlier today, we were driving in the van and I was getting discouraged because I was having trouble watching the LA Dodgers baseball game, it keeps buffering... Let that sit with you for a second.  I am in rural Cambodia, drive a cross miles and miles of dry rice fields and I'm upset that the internet on my cell phone is not strong enough to watch a baseball game being played live from the other side of the planet.  Yes, I'm a spoiled unfortunate person...Technology has its talons deep into my soul.  When we check in to a hotel, my first instinct is to obtain the wifi password.  I then move to find the closest outlet to plug in my multi-port charging station.  It is only after all my electronics are charging and happy that I can settle in and take my sunglasses off and put down my cell-phone.  I guess it's just the shape of the world now.  Today we spent time at a local silk farm.  The number of steps that go into growing, processing, dying, designing, weaving a

Sitting here, I've been racking my brains trying to figure out when the last time I enjoyed putting ice in my pants more than today...Not many (some) but not many come to mind.  Today was a really physically and mentally hard day, we rode for 40 miles and I felt every pedal.  I was sick yesterday and could not ride, so I was stuck in the van.  I firmly believe that touring the country on a bike is the best way to get acquainted with a place...I realize I actually know very little of this place and am taken by surprise almost every turn of my head.   Don't get me wrong there, are no doubt advantages of touring around on a bus...Air conditioning...Comfortable seats...Not pedaling a bike.   Some might think this is nuts.  And believe me there is a huge part of me that agrees. When we first started thinking about a trip it was Connie (Madeleine's friend from swimming) who introduced us to Tree.  She and her husband had work with him before and he came with high prai

First let me thank everyone for their love, support, prayers, energies, and well wishes.  I have heard from people from every aspect of my life.  I am so grateful and I could not do this without.  I am honored and can never repay all that you all have invested in this.  I don't really know how to handle this.  I want to talk about it because it is important, we all need to see the evil so we can recognize it before it happens again.  On Sunday, Madeleine and I visited Toul Sleng Genocidal Museum also known as S-21.  This was a former high school which was turned into a Khmer Rouge interrogation/torture site.  One of many.  We spent two hours walking through the buildings.  Some were former classrooms turning into torture rooms and holding cells. I needed to walk into each room, and feel the heaviness that still remains. We also spent time looking at the pictures of several hundred of the victims.  As an interrogation site, the staff at S-21 was focused on getting information.

The feeling of being back is really weird.   Things are so familiar but also strange.   Its almost as if I’m watching through someone else’s eyes.   The world is a much bigger place for me today than it was two days ago.   I never thought I would come back.   We always talked about it, as sometime in the future…maybe when the kids are older…maybe when we get more financially stable.   But here we are. We were picked up at the airport by our tour guide, Tree.    He seems tall to me but I’m not sure.   I always see myself as smaller than I am.   But he probably has a couple of inches in height on me, but I have at least eight inches on him in the belly area…sure he can reach things on a higher shelf, but I win in a not eating contest. For that matter probably an eating contest as well.   As proof, my cycling jersey is a 3X Large… Of course these are Cambodian sizes…and I’m going to stick with that until I lose some mass.   We stood in the heat and fumes of the airpo

I have finally set foot on Cambodian soil.   Oddly enough my first welcome to the country was from T-Mobile.    Traveling from the US to Cambodia went really smooth, nothing slowed us down or got super stressful.   I’ve been stressed for a long time leading up to this and I’ll admit I did have several anxiety attacks on the plane and in the airport… each pretty much cleared up after some really deep breaths and the passage of time.   My first impression of the country started out as really stressful and then turned into something that feels really cool.   First thing, we arrived we had to get our tourist visas.   We knew about this and expected it to be pretty easy.    There was not much of a line and the people all spoke English…so no big deal.   Well until they started asking me questions… “You were born here?” I answered honestly and you are supposed to when speaking to government officials… “I think so.” (blank looks) … “You don’t know…what did your mother t

To be perfectly honest with you, right now, at this moment, I wish I was going alone.   Before you sink to scandal and intrigue, its nothing like that.   There is no one on this planet I would rather go with than Madeleine.    She has been my support system and advocate for nearly twenty years, and this will be no different.   Going alone would have saved me from doing something very difficult. Yesterday we put our kids on a plane, one of the toughest things I’ve ever done.   They are going to stay with our family in Arizona, whom we know love them and will care for them as their own.   We won’t have be concerned for their well-being.  In Seattle In Tucson - They made it - Big exhale If I were going alone, Madeleine would be here with them and I wouldn’t have to see or feel the uncertainty on all our faces.   All the parents out there will recognize the struggle between, knowing you must do something, not wanting to do it, trying to stay strong so you do it and pu

I once heard a saying, “The best way to get away from a two headed snake is to run in two different directions.”    I’m not sure what it means or if it even makes sense…but it does relate. My current quest consists of two separate but connected components.    The first, as you’ve probably figured out is to make connections with my past.    Recapture something that I never knew I was missing.   Just being in Cambodia, will start a healing process in me, that I’ve needed for a long time.   When I was adopted, it was the norm to encourage children to “become American,” to embrace and acculturate into their new lives.    For me it wasn’t too hard, I was so young and had no understanding of my home country or culture.   And nothing was ever done to encourage me to explore my history or culture.    It was never a consideration for me to learn the language.   This was just the way it was.   I can’t blame my parents, they did what was proscribed by the culture as a whole.   I always knew

Welcome to my new blog.  I hope this will be interesting to you and that by reading this you will find something you can relate to.  I'm not sure how to start this but I think maybe the beginning would be a good place.  My name is Anthony Sok-Heng Tessandori.  I grew up in a town named Arcadia, just north and east of Los Angeles.  I had a fairly normal upbringing, with my brother and two sisters.  My father was a doctor and my mother was at home for most of my childhood.  All things considered I had a good life.  You might be asking now, what is so interesting about this...the answer is nothing.  There is nothing about this that is out of the norm and in a lot of ways was maybe like your life.  This is actually the ending of my story...that got dark.  Let's say the end of my origin first story.  My true beginning is a mystery. I was born sometime in the early 70's in Cambodia.  No one knows the year...it was before 1975, probably much earlier.  The reason I know it wa