Back to Cambodia

 

In a week I will be leaving for Cambodia for my second visit.  This time I’m bringing some company.  Three of my kids, Elsa, Vincent and Liam will be joining me.  Unfortunately, Madeleine and Domingo will not be able to come this time.

It has been six years since I was there and the world has been through a lot.  The meaning of this trip is different than my last.  Last time I was reintroducing myself to my homeland, this time I’m introducing my kids to the land of their ancestry. 

Last time I was scared for myself, how I would react and what I might discover.  This time I’m worried about my kids, not that they will be in danger, but because they will have unexpected experiences and probably feelings.  I have dedicated myself as a father to save my children from as many difficulties as I can. This trip will without question place my children into situations that will be difficult. I am aware of this, and I believe that these difficulties are important for them, as they will allow my children to know me better, and to understand their world in a more complete way.

I am still not at peace with my past and am not ok, but I will be taking more steps in that direction.  From the time I took my last step off of Cambodian land last time, I have longed to return.  I have longed to feel the heat and humidity, smell the air, and hear the sounds that have echoed in my soul my entire life.

This year marks an important milestone for Cambodia and all her people.  This April is the 50th anniversary of the end of the civil war and the start of the Khmer Rouge, and my escape from the horrors they brought with them.  Not only my escape, it was the escape of the other 20 orphans that came out with me.  I feel very fortunate that I have been able to connect directly with most of them and am over joyed that my children and I will be joined by four of them this trip.  This will be the first time that a group of us will be together in nearly fifty years.  The power of this moment is overwhelming.  No one else on the planet knows how it feels to feel the way I do like my fellow babylifters.  I know that we will laugh and cry together.  We will remember together and hopefully heal together.

I will be continuing my blog, Project Red Pin as we work our way through Cambodia and our past.  I am honored that these amazing people have agree to share this time and experience with me. 

So here we go, back to the land of our birth.



Comments

  1. docsaraApril 4, 2025 at 4:23 PM

    Tony, thanks for sharing this with us. I feel privileged to read this through your eyes. Your kids are resilient and gifted - just like their awesome dad. You'll be in my thoughts every day. Thank you so much.

    Always your dear friend & Colleage.
    ~Sara

    ReplyDelete

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